Tag Archives: Dale Carnegie

One man show no more

19 May

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by Pride and Vanity.” ~ Dale Carnegie

Let’s be honest for one thing, what motivates us most is fame and other’s recognition, right ? Okay, money is also a thing that drive people most, but just see around us, we idolize celebrities and public figures, and dreaming about becoming like those famous people, nevertheless a normal people would never despise the idea about becoming famous, I believe that narcissism exists in everyone of us.

So it’s okay if one wants to pursue his/her ambition for fame, as long as no one (or animals) harm in the process, I mean, there are so many ways to become famous without breaking any rules, as we knew rules were made to make things go right as they should be.

A few weeks ago, I and my best friend went to meet some people who were members of a non-profit organization, for info, I am currently a volunteer for that non-profit organization for years, my motive is nothing but for my own self-development, and this organization – off course has rules and bylaws that every member must follow, and sadly those people in that particular area never obey it.

We intent to advise to them to follow those rules and make some improvements for their own progress, otherwise they would never achieve their goals and as the result of it, none of the members in that area make any progress or self-development.

Somehow we had suspected that they tried to take some benefit from this non-profit organization, by claiming this organization’s reputation, they tended to gain fame or recognition, and it is a pity since the vision of non-profit organization is to give benefit for all members, not only for a certain people.

What surprised us that when we were there those people was still making another big mistakes and they were not ashamed of it, and so my friend started to criticize them and about how lousy they run this organization, and also about the fact that members were running away from this organization because of their fault.

No one could handle criticism easily, especially these people, one of them ignored us completely and pretend to be busy with cellphone, but then another person couldn’t accept it, then that person started to give some nasty responds.

I tried to be patient and not give any comment to that responds, obviously this person didn’t realize that because of their faults and by breaking rules they gave a bad reputation to this organization, and I was speechless when they said that because of their contributions, all of the members had gained success – yet, those members never pay them back or thank to them.

Okay, stop here ! these people were a truly delusional – I thought to myself.

Then I snapped ; “This organization does not run by a person solely, this is not a one man show. you rely on your friends to help you, you need friends to conduct everything, so you should never think that everything here happens because of you own contribution, if that so then you forget that  actually you can be here because of your friend’s help too”

The conversation ended without any conclusion, but later I sent sms to my best friend that we have enough with them and we should no longer help them again.

I was quite shocked and very disappointed, all efforts and time had gone wasted for about five years, helping those ignorant people in that area, and still they never learn anything about our mission and vision for this non-profit organization.

I think the moral of this incident is I should never waste my time for opportunistic and stubborn people, there are still many things ahead that I can do rather than worrying and thinking about those people.

“Being entirely honest with oneself is a good exercise” – Sigmund Freud

Stephen “7 Habits” Covey’s Legacy

17 Jul

“Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic” – Stephen R. Covey

Ada beberapa buku yang sangat menyentuh saya secara personal, mungkin karena buku-buku itu memberikan ‘insight’ baru atau memiliki sesuatu hal yang sulit dijabarkan hingga saya merasa memiliki semacam sentimental tersendiri terhadap buku-buku itu. salah satunya adalah 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

Dulu, jauh sebelum Mario Teguh dan para motivator dadakan itu terkenal, Buku 7 Habits adalah merupakan suatu terobosan yang spektakuler, seingat saya waktu pertama kali membacanya ( ya, saya membaca buku itu berulang kali !) waktu zamannya kuliah dulu, dan buku ini cukup memberikan perubahan yang signifikan pada karakter saya ( gak bo’ong lhoo )

Apa saja 7 Habits itu ?

Buat yang sudah lupa atau belum tahu , ini Tujuh Kebiasaan Efektif yang dirumuskan oleh Stephen Covey :

  1. Be Proactive
  2. Begin with the End in Mind
  3. Put First Things First
  4. Think Win/Win
  5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood
  6. Synergize
  7. Sharpen the Saw

Dan “Habit” favorit saya adalah nomor 4 : “Win-Win Solution”, rasanya tanpa Covey, kalimat win-win solution tidak akan pernah ditemukan, win-win solution atau lebih tepatnya seperti “musyawarah untuk mufakat” adalah suatu kebiasaan yang mulia karena mengharuskan kita menekan ego dan menggunakan empati untuk mencari jalan keluar dari suatu masalah hingga mendapatkan solusi yang menguntungkan semua pihak.

Sebetulnya saya rada basi menulis tentang Stephen Covey, toh semua orang sudah tahu karyanya, tapi pagi ini saya membaca posting teman di fesbuk tentang berita kematiannya, dan tiba-tiba saja saya jadi ingat tentang semua hal yang pernah saya pelajari dari buku-buku Stephen Covey.

Saya rasa tidak berlebihan jika menyatakan bahwa karya Stephen Covey memiliki pengaruh yang besar di bidang psikologi atau lebih tepatnya self-motivational dan self-improvement, kebesaran Covey tentunya bisa disandingkan dengan Dale Carnegie.

Gajah mati meninggalkan gading, harimau mati meninggalkan belang, manusia mati meninggalkan jasa….

Thanks, Mr. Covey….for your great books

“Live, love, laugh, leave a legacy.”

- Stephen R. Covey

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 685 other followers